Why some men still struggle in silence
Despite years of progress in mental health awareness, there is a pattern I continue to see in the therapy room: men carrying emotional struggles quietly and alone. And while stigma around mental health has reduced in many ways, we know that men remain significantly less likely to seek support, open up or recognise when they are overwhelmed.
Much of this begins early. Many boys hear messages such as “be strong”, “do not make a fuss” or “sort it out yourself”. These messages may come from adults who grew up with the same expectations. Over time, boys can learn that asking for help is weakness and that being vulnerable is unsafe.
In adulthood, these beliefs can turn into silence. Instead of saying “I am struggling”, some men try to cope alone, work longer or withdraw from other people. Irritability, withdrawal or fatigue may be signs of distress.
Silence does not make difficult feelings disappear. It can make it harder for other people to notice that support is needed.
Anxiety or burnout may show up as irritability, restlessness or exhaustion.
Stress may appear as anger or withdrawal when someone feels pressure to “hold it all together.”
Loneliness can lead to further disconnection from friends, family and everyday activities.
The challenge is not that men feel these things. It is that many feel they must endure them alone.
This Movember, we have an opportunity to change the narrative.
You might open up to a partner, check in with a close friend or use support available through InsideOut®. A first sentence can be simple: “I have had a lot on my mind lately.”
Movember can challenge expectations of masculinity as well as raise awareness. Strength can include recognising your limits, acknowledging stress and asking for support.
The moustache may be the visible part of Movember. The useful action is making room for an honest conversation before a crisis.
Dr Anna Symmonds
Clinical Lead, InsideOut®
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